I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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