Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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