Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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