Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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