i permit you to call me
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
operation have a gay friend backfired
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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