I think I just saw someone hide a body.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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