she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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