There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I made him laugh his dick is mine
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize