Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
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Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
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I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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