Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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