She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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