I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize