The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
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Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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