I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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