Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
