it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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