I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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