Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize