did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Randomize