I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
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