im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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