also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
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He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
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The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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