No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize