i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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