winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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