Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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