are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
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halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
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When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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