we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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