coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
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You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
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I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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