Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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