these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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