I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize