there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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