I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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