Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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