I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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