a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize