he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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