Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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