Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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