You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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