Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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