I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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