I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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