Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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