I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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