ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
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