We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
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My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
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I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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