K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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