He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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